Silent Savior (Daring to Believe He's Still There)

Although I have purposed to write about things I'm reading I want this also to be a place where that reading intersects my life or vice versa. I'm taking a bible study class about Isaiah. I can say its the most indepth study I've ever taken and its more than a little bit scary. In that class the other night we talked about how God spoke some of the very same things to Micah that He spoke to Isaish (they were contemporaries) and how God speaks the same message to different churches all at the same time because He wants them to know "This Is What I'm Doing Right Now!" and perhaps we are not quite listening as we ought to be.

That of course is the cruxt of what is going on in my life right now (all the time). If God is trying to speak to me He does it in several different ways because.... well I'm not quite getting it when he says it the first time - as an aside we just have been reading a book with Elli called "Sleep Big Bear Sleep". In the book Old Man Winter keeps saying "Sleep Big Bear Sleep" but Big Bear doesn't hear very well so he hears "Drive a Jeep Big Bear" or "Dive Deep Big Bear" or even "Sweep Big Bear".

With all of that said I know that I know a couple of things - if we're not listening or looking to try to hear we won't. If I'm not opening the Bible or devotions or books about God I just won't even hear what He's saying because its often like the wind, one time on Sunday is just not enough for me to recognize or even remember that He spoke.

Over the last several months (and even years) I've heard God speak some very specific things about healing in our lives and the lives of our friends, in recent months we've been believing for deliverance from financial bondage(that we brought ourselves into)and for a job and a place to live for our friends. Feeling tired and frustrated and irritated at what appeared to be unchanging circumstance while living in circumstance that required God to move I came across this book yesterday - "Silent Savior (Daring to Believe He's Still There" and this was the very first quote:

"Perhaps the greatest belief is believing when you don't see any miracles, visions or sign of tangible hope, but you are teeter-tottering on the ledge of utter unbelief. Belief in spite of the nothingness just might be when the greatest faith is found. "Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief"."

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine about the Chris Rice song Smell the Color Nine:

I would take no for an answer,
Just to know I heard you speak,
And I'm wondering why I've never,
Seen the signs they claim they see,
A lotta special revelations,
Meant for everybody but me,
Maybe I don't truly know You,
or maybe I just simply believe...

I'm the type of person who hears God speak but in those times when He seems to be simply silent "simply believing" comes very hard for me. It was very funny though this morning when the call for the face to face interview for our friends came, and Brandon's healing and signs of a miraculous healing for John Paul began to manifest that although I was so incredibly joyful there was deep with in a slight rebuke from the Lord as I heard him whisper "I told you I would ... why did you not believe me?" My response of course is like Thomas Lord now that I see I believe but please help me believe even when I'm not seeing.